Is 40 actually the brand new 20?
Okay perhaps not, however as I get able to rejoice my forty sixth birthday this week, I contend that there IS undoubtedly a complete lot of life left after 40.
The truth is, I believe I’d even go as far as to say that is my favourite decade to this point!
And so in celebration of my birthday and hopefully getting older gracefully, I assumed right this moment I’d share just a few of my favourite issues about life in my 40s—the issues that actually have stunned me.
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And whether or not you’re in your 40’s, 50’s, or past, I’ll be curious to know whether or not you agree.
So, with out additional ado–listed below are the 5 stunning issues I LOVE about being in my 40s.
I not care what different folks consider me.
The primary large factor is that I’ve just about stopped giving a—nicely, we’ll say—crap about what anybody else thinks of me.
And that’s truly a fairly large deal.
And it’s not that I’ve ever thought-about myself a complete folks pleaser, however I believe all of us have a bit bit—or perhaps quite a bit—of insecurity with regards to being round folks and particularly being round different girls.
I’ve at all times been fairly pushed and fairly outspoken and likewise sharp and witty and sarcastic. I’m additionally only a pure chief.
However once I would get round different girls that perhaps weren’t fairly as pushed or outspoken, I’d attempt to tone it down. Principally I’d attempt to mood my character to suit the social scenario, I believe as a result of I used to be usually afraid to be totally ME.
I frightened about becoming in and never offending folks.
And actually I believe that worry or that fear even translated to how I confirmed up in my enterprise. For a very long time, actually for years, I felt like I needed to maintain part of me again. I used to be afraid to talk my thoughts or get too controversial or to say something which may offend somebody.
The truth is, I believe for a very long time that was why I struggled a lot with social media. I by no means knew what to say as a result of I didn’t actually really feel like I may totally be myself. What if I used to be an excessive amount of?
And I don’t actually really feel like I do this anymore.
As I’ve gotten older, I believe actually I’ve stopped caring a lot about different folks’s opinions and what they consider me. I’m a lot extra prepared now than I ever have been to simply let the chips fall the place they could.
I’m not for everybody, and that’s okay.
And let me inform you…it feels SO GOOD. I do know who I’m and what I like and don’t like, and I don’t really feel like I’ve acquired to show myself or change myself to slot in or be accepted.
In order that’s the primary large factor that’s actually stunned me about getting older—I’ve lastly stopped caring a lot about what different folks assume.
I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin.
The second large factor that has stunned me about getting older is that I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin than I’ve ever been earlier than.
And it’s kind-of odd once I give it some thought, as a result of once I look again at pictures of myself at 20 or 25, I used to be so cute and tan and skinny and but SO insecure about myself and my physique.
And sure, dropping 40 kilos undoubtedly helped me really feel much more assured, however my 45 yr previous physique nonetheless appears to be like like a forty five yr previous physique.
I’ve acquired varicose veins and cellulite and stretch marks. Each day I discover just a few extra grey hairs. I’ve wrinkles and age spots and snort strains and boobs which are beginning to sag just a bit.
However these issues actually don’t trouble me.
I really like my physique proper now, simply the way in which it’s, and after fighting my weight for thus lengthy, it kinda feels wonderful to be at this level.
I dance round bare for my husband, which I NEVER would have carried out earlier than, and inform him day-after-day how fortunate he’s to have such a sizzling spouse.
And once more, objectively I don’t assume it’s as a result of I’m truly hotter now than once we first met, however my CONFIDENCE is what has made me extra engaging.
I believe perhaps it’s as a result of as you become old, you acquire knowledge and perspective, and also you begin to understand that your flaws and scars are simply a part of who you might be.
They’re a part of your story they usually’re what makes you distinctive and fascinating.
However that’s the second large factor that has stunned me—how way more assured I’m in my very own pores and skin.
My children are a lot extra self-sufficient
The third factor that has stunned me is how a lot I really like this subsequent part of parenting, the place my children are older and extra impartial and self-sufficient.
And whereas youngsters—particularly teenage GIRLS—undoubtedly have their moments, this stage of parenting has truly been much more enjoyable than I assumed it will be.
I at all times thought it will make me unhappy to observe my children develop up, however actually it doesn’t make me unhappy. It’s been so enjoyable to observe my women develop into changing into their very own folks.
They’re nonetheless at dwelling for just a few extra years, however now they’re driving themselves locations and taking duty for their very own homework and don’t require a babysitter once we need to exit—and even when my husband and I need to go away for the weekend.
And that’s truly an enormous deal as a result of dwelling right here in Florida, we by no means actually had any household round whereas we have been elevating our youngsters, and good babysitters are onerous to search out.
I keep in mind so a few years after they have been youthful the place we felt overwhelmed by the neediness. And now I’ve staff who’ve younger children and it makes me keep in mind simply how exhausting that part of life is, and I don’t actually miss it.
And don’t get me fallacious, I truly LOVE children and I’m SO excited for grandkids in just a few years, as a result of I’m going to be SUCH a kick-ass grandma, however I’m additionally not unhappy that in only a couple extra years my husband and I shall be empty nesters and we get to observe our youngsters go navigate the world on their very own.
In order that’s the third factor that has stunned me—how a lot I really like having self-sufficient children.
I’ve manner extra enjoyable.
The fourth factor that has DEFINITELY stunned me is that I’m having WAY extra enjoyable in my 40s than I ever did in my 20’s or 30s.
And perhaps this is because of the truth that my children are far more impartial, or perhaps it’s as a result of I’m extra assured and cozy in my very own pores and skin, however I additionally assume it’s as a result of in my 20’s and 30’s I used to be extra centered on getting married and beginning a household after which rising my enterprise.
However I’ve by no means had extra enjoyable than I’m having now, at this part in my life.
I believe a part of it’s that I simply don’t take myself as critically as I used to. Once more, perhaps that’s the rise in confidence or simply being much more prepared to be myself and never feeling like I must impress anybody.
However I believe a giant a part of it is also that over the previous few years, my husband and I’ve gotten much more intentional about making a shared imaginative and prescient for our life collectively, and for what we would like our life to seem like.
And that undoubtedly wasn’t at all times the case. We weren’t at all times completely on the identical web page. I used to be tremendous busy attempting to develop my enterprise and do all of the issues and be all of the locations. I had my very own objectives, however they weren’t actually shared objectives. And that typically put us at odds.
If I’m being trustworthy, typically it felt like we have been dwelling completely different lives.
However throughout COVID a number of that modified.
I instantly stopped touring and I used to be dwelling on a regular basis, and we began doing much more issues collectively. We reconnected as a pair and we additionally began making extra native associates in our personal neighborhood. We additionally discovered a brand new church and commenced rising spiritually collectively as nicely.
And we began having extra conversations about we truly wished for our life collectively.
And perhaps it has nothing to do with covid, perhaps it’s only a pure factor that occurs as your children become old and get nearer to go away the nest, and it’s important to come to grips with the truth that sooner or later it’s going to be simply the 2 of you, and also you’ve both acquired to be in it for the lengthy haul otherwise you’ve acquired to go your separate methods.
For us, it was determining create a shared imaginative and prescient for our life.
So we truly wrote all of it out—what we would like our life to seem like. We realized that we would like a house the place folks can collect—a spot the place everybody feels welcome.
And we additionally realized that this imaginative and prescient didn’t should be one thing we waited for. We may begin inviting folks to collect immediately.
And so we do. On a regular basis. Even when our life is loopy attempting to maintain up with our youngsters’ sports activities schedules and work and all the home initiatives we’ve got occurring.
We don’t fear if our home is tidy, or if every little thing appears to be like excellent. We don’t fear if every little thing is all pulled collectively and exquisite. Typically it’s not. The truth is often it’s not.
Don’t get me fallacious, I really like planning a superb occasion, however I don’t WAIT till every little thing is ideal to ask folks in. Actually nowadays we’re often a complete shitshow and our home is a catastrophe.
However there may be not often a weekend the place we don’t invite folks over, or the place we’re not gathering with associates, even when it’s simply to have a bonfire within the again subject or play pool in our yet-to-be-renovated recreation room.
As a result of what I’ve realized at this stage of life is that nobody cares how excellent it’s.
Once I was youthful I’d get so caught up within the particulars that I’d neglect that the entire level of gathering is to CONNECT.
And in order that’s what we do. And it’s a number of enjoyable.
In order that’s the fourth shock.
I’m far more conscious of my very own mortality.
The fifth shock is simply how way more conscious I’m of my very own mortality.
And perhaps this doesn’t sound like a superb factor, however I truly assume it’s. So hear me out.
It’s not like I’m continuously frightened about dying or something, it’s extra that I’ve a palpable consciousness of the fragility of life and the preciousness of time.
I believe while you’re youthful, you assume you will have on a regular basis on the planet. You place issues off since you assume there’ll at all times be a tomorrow or subsequent week or subsequent month.
However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen that tomorrow isn’t assured. And so in a normal sense, I believe it’s made me extra intentional about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and what I’m doing with my life.
I don’t assume I take practically as a lot with no consideration anymore—whether or not it’s my well being, my household, my associates, or simply the little moments all through the day—as a result of I do know that it may all be gone in a heartbeat.
I don’t need to have any regrets. I need to dwell totally and benefit from day-after-day that I’ve.
So I’m extra prepared to take dangers, to strive new issues, and to not let worry maintain me again.
As a result of on the finish of the day, what’s the worst that may occur? All of us die finally anyhow. May as nicely benefit from the time we’ve got.
And that’s been a stunning and releasing mindset to have. It has helped me let go of perfectionism and comparability, and simply deal with dwelling my life in a significant manner.
So whereas there could also be extra wrinkles and grey hairs than I’d like, getting older has additionally introduced some sudden joys and classes. And I’m excited to see what else this subsequent part of life has in retailer. It doesn’t matter what, I’m certain it will likely be one wild and loopy experience.
In order that’s my record—the 5 stunning issues I really like about being in my 40s!
And I’m certain you’ll be able to relate to some, if not all of them, however actually I’d love to listen to again from you on this! Do you like this midlife part of life too, whether or not it’s your 40’s, 50’s or past?
In that case WHY?
Go away a remark under and let me know what you assume!
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